Today I drove to work in a silent car; no radio. On purpose. I let my thoughts come unbidded and watched to see what I would think about. I thought of Jon.

I know that he was not feeling well, and I know that it was for a very long time. And, I know that in his mind he had found the solution. This I know. But, still I wonder...why take such a permanent solution to a temporary problem/space of life? I know, I know...do not need to say it. But, do you not too think that thought? Every now and than?

Than, as I was training with the Supervisor (remember I am mentally/emotionally sensitive about death at this point because of my morning thoughts) a nice lady came in with her daughter and son-in-law to close her husband's account because he had passed away on the 20th. The Supervisor was upset because she felt very fond affection for the 'old' man, and I began to tear because I could not help but see my mom sitting in the chair telling the banker that she needed to close my brother's account. I barely held it together while I took notes on how to handle these sort of things (i.e forms needed, transfer retirement funds, etc.). The nice lady said something that could have come from the mouth of my mom, "He did not need to go and done this." and than she cried. I walked out at this point because I began to cry too.

My kids are MIA (where is Shootgun Creek?), so I am going to go find a creek somewhere and cool down. Liz style. :)

Adios.